5 Big Questions I Asked Before we got Engaged

5 Major questions I needed to have answers to before I even bothered to pursue a relationship...my mom negotiables

1. This was the most important question that we spoke about the first time we ever met. I wanted to know if he had a genuine relationship with God. Not just a Christian by name but did he really know God and had he experienced the incredible power and love of God? And was this a core part of his life? Without this, I would have moved on immediately.

2. Core values... wow this is a deep one and one I'll dive into another day. But ultimatley this came down to character for me. I wanted to know what his core values were. Of course, some things were different from me because of our very different upbringings but ultimatley, dating during a pandemic answered a lot of political and financial quetsions for me. Just by observation. And educationally, he was an AVID reader. Our very first conversation/in person date was deep and I realized he's someone that values life-long learning. Answering questions about family don't mean much until you see how their relationships are with their family in person.

3. Handling money is a big one. It's the main reason why so many people divorce... money issues. I was coming into the relationship with assets and investments I had been building up since age 19 and I believe in merging finances to help with transparency.

4. I never wanted kids until last year but he was open to us not having kids although he wanted them. Truthfully, this was the only thing I was a bit shaky about but I took his word for it, if we didn't have kids, that it would be okay. I'll talk about my journey towards having kids in another post

5. Future planning is important. It shapes all your actions and major decisions as a couple. We spoke a lot about our desire for having a future where we had complete time money freedom.